we hold these truth’s to be self evident
04/07/2009
those of us that are in favor of all americans receiving equal protection under the law got a victory last week. on friday, april 3rd 2009, the iowa supreme court ruled that a ban on gay marriage was unconstitutional. the decision was unanimous, and is most certainly an insight into things to come in reference to this subject. iowa, the first midwestern state to have such a ruling, joins massachusetts and connecticut as the only states to grant gay and lesbian americans equality with african americans, caucasian americans, christian americans, men, women, people over 40…you get the picture. this is an issue that has become very important to me. i wrote a little about it here. as a straight man living in this great country it may seem odd that an issue that has no real relevancy in my personal life would become such a personal crusade…but it has, because i love my country and the ideas that it was founded upon.
this was a landmark decision. not because of the decision itself, but where the decision was made. we aren’t talking about california or new york here. this ruling isn’t coming out of oregon or perhaps olympia, washington. no, this decision comes from iowa. you don’t get more “heartland of america” than iowa. we’re talking salt of the earth americans here. and while this decision is sure to be unpopular with conservative iowans who like their conservative brethren across america have long held a delusional monopoly on what is right, this decision is a shot across the bow of their dogmatic and judgmental way of thinking.
justice mark s. cady wrote in his opinion: “we are firmly convinced the exclusion of gay and lesbian people from the institution of civil marriage does not substantially further any important governmental objective.” even more importantly, he stated later that “we (the iowa supreme court) have a constitutional duty to ensure equal protection of the law.” gasp! i’m sure it’s been said before, but these words are the most important ever spoken about this argument. it’s a fact: every man, woman and child deserves equal protection under the law. sexual preference is not characteristic that can be discriminated against.
predictably, opponents of this decision have vowed to continue to fight against this ruling and others like it. i have words for these people: progress is happening. you have two choices…embrace it, or be dragged along with it, kicking and screaming. everyone should be seen as equal here in this country. if your god has an issue with someone’s sexual preference, by all means let him do the judging. i’ve read that’s his m.o.
a couple of years ago i had to go to florida for a conference. i actually like going, because the discussions are usually informative, and it nearly always takes place in a pretty cool place. one evening after a particularly long day of sessions i decided to go have a drink. i walked into the lounge, which was quite crowded with conference attendees, and took the only seat available at the bar. i ordered a beer from the bartender, and asked to see a menu. i ordered a sandwich and another beer, then proceeded to mind my own business…sort of.
see, the thing about bars is that no matter how much you try and keep to yourself, you always end up either eavesdropping or getting involved in a conversation with a complete stranger. the guy sitting next to me noticed my conference tag, and asked me where i was from. “oklahoma city,” i told him. we talked a bit…mostly small talk about the conference…but there was something i wanted to ask the guy…and it was killing me.
this guy was about my age. he lived out on the west coast and was working at a small university in san francisco. he had a nice wedding band on his left ring finger…which is about par for the course for a 30 something male. but i was certain that this guy was gay. i know it sounds like a stereotype, but he sounded gay…i had to get him to confirm it because i really wanted to ask him about the ring…i’m a huge proponent of equal rights for everyone, and in the last several years i’ve really picked up the pro-gay marriage torch.
i’m not sure how i got him to confirm it, but he did say something about a “partner” which is usually a dead giveaway. finally! the questions just poured out of me. how did he get married? how did he feel about it not being recognize legally? he was really cool about my probing, and more than happy to answer all of my questions. we talked for a couple of hours about this stuff. i ranted on and on about how despicable it was that a country that professes to believe in equality and offer everyone protection under the law could so blatantly spit in the face of the homosexual community.
somewhere in the conversation something he said something to me that i wall never forget. he told me that he couldn’t believe such an open minded person could ever be from oklahoma, possibly the most conservative, dogmatic state in the country. i guess i had never really thought about it before. first, i realize that he has a stereotypical view of oklahomans, and this region of the country in general. there is some truth to that stereotype, as any honest individual from oklahoma will tell you, so his words did have some merit. what his statement really did was help me to realize just how different some of my views are from the majority of my oklahoma brethren. maybe i’m wrong, but pro gay marriage, pro secular government, pro evolution, etc are not your typical oklahoma political stances.
by the end of the night, we were both pretty drunk, as were the other folks that we were talking with in the bar since my new friend had been buying round after round of drinks for the entire place (if i recall, his bill was over $400). i got up to leave and told him thanks for the drinks, and wished him luck in the future. he told me thank you for opening his eyes…for showing him that not everyone out in middle america hated him for how he was born. i told him that there were more of us than he knew, and to please do what he could to change people’s minds about people from this region. i’d do the same to further the equal rights agenda back home. you see, i don’t refer to it as “gay rights” thing. it’s a human rights issue. period.
that conversation in florida changed my self image. i’m from oklahoma. i’m a proud oklahoman. i love my home state, but i’m not in lock step with the current political, dogmatic climate here. ever since that evening in florida forward i have felt a responsibility to my home to change people’s opinion of oklahomans. we are a great state, full of great people, and we’re not all the same. i’m a fiscal conservative. i don’t like frivolous government spending and happen to think that the government should get out of our way, not hinder us. on that note i fit right in. i also happen to be socially liberal, which tends to stick out in a crowd here. you’d better believe i wear that badge with pride.
to my friend from the bar, i don’t remember your name, but when california passed proposition 8, i thought of you. i’m sorry there are so many people out there that feel they have the right to pass judgement on you for something that is none of their business. i hope we both see equality for all americans become law within our lifetimes. rest assured. it will happen. the only question is when.
update!……………….
right after i posted this, i found an article about the iowa supreme court striking down a ban on gay marriage in that state. it’s a win for the good guys! small steps, but we’ll get there. here’s a link to the good news.
